when i was younger i hated the country. hated it. i thought it was full of redneck hillbillies. (and much of it still may be. :P) my mom had an old friend and co-worker we used to visit with that lived off a farm to market road. it felt like being in another world when we were there. my mom also dated a man that lived in the country. he was annoying and slow talking and i hated him too. maybe because he was dating my mother (and i always hated those men), or i just thought he was one of those stupid redneck hillbillies.
as i've gotten older (and pushin' 30!) i want nothing more than to have my own yard that i can grow a small garden in, tend to a chicken or two, have at least two cats at all times, and if i'm really lucky, a donkey. i love animals, they have such a sweet innocence about them. i'd also like to fill my home with house plants, with the green leaves overtaking everything.
i want to be able to slow down and enjoy my time. yesterday as i was stuck in traffic for an hour all i could think is time is money. if i wasn't in this traffic i would be working on something, anything. i could be making money somehow. now, that isn't entirely true. i have no pressing clients at the moment, i was just pissed off and wanted the universe to know what i had better things to do that sit in traffic for a fucking hour. and yet i didn't. i just hate traffic, like the rest of the world. i didn't get as angry as i normally do, but i was pretty huffy by the end of it.
thinking about this today i realized how ridiculous i can be. why be so worried about things you can't change? let's put our efforts towards the things we can. i think i've mentioned that sister's bf has been out of town for the past 5 weeks and it has been the best spending time with her. we haven't fought much, if any, which is surprising. maybe i've finally learned to control my temper. ;] we've enjoyed each others company greatly, and had many meals together. some we make, some we go out for. they've all been nice and something i'll cherish as we start to go our separate ways in the next year or so.
i guess my point of all this is i want a more simple life. i want to be able to enjoy all life has to give me and i need to make the most of it. whether that be spending all day cooking a meal for loved ones, or lazing about reading my favorite book for the 100th time. listening to that new record i've been craving until i know all of the lyrics, or simply sitting on the floor petting my cats. i no longer care to be out and seen. ok, lets face it, i've never cared about that crap.
anyways, i hope to continue to mature over the next coming months and figure out what i'm meant to do with my life. i'm narrowing it down and i have some priorities that i hope will fall in line with everything else. that may be vague, but it's the best i can do for now.
this post was meant to highlight modern farmer but i kind of went off on a wild tangent. oops! that's what happens when i stop writing words and only show you guys photos. i word vomit everywhere. i haven't read the entire issue yet, but i can't wait to do so. the cover is a tasty matte finish (i love printing.) and feels very soft to the touch. i love, love, love the last little spread. i want to hang those creatures on my wall.