"tried being cruel, it's just not in me, it's just not in you."

now that my blog is attached to my website, i don't get too personal on it. but i miss that, letting someone into my life and space. things are messy, and hard, and beautiful, and emotional. the past year and a half have been a hard one for me personally. while i have come to love my job and have been slowly rebuilding my career after leaving a horrendous path behind, my personal life has struggled. it's been overwhelming at times, but i know now changes have to be made to move forward. and that's what life is all about, right? finding that balance for yourself. i sometimes wish my personal life would go as smoothly as my work life. but then i remember i've been working at my goal for 8 years now. maybe it's time i put some of that focus back onto myself. part of that is having this little ole blog as an outlet. i miss writing, i miss sharing. over the past year and a half i have loved and had my heart broken too many times. i can't say i'll ever not be bold in love, because that is very much who i am and while i fight against most things in my life, that can't be one of them. so y'all please bear with me as i get back into this. it might take a me a little while, but i want to be here. 



my friend, holly, and i traveled to nyc for the first time each at the end of march. we used my 30th birthday as an excuse to visit the city that never sleeps. i have been wanting to go to nyc since i was in college, but hadn't had the chance until now. i will admit, i thought i'd be more in love. i think i'm spoiled by the west coast and it's laid back vibe. i tend to be very high strung at times, and the slow pace of the pnw seems to compliment that side of me well. that doesn't mean i didn't enjoy myself or have a good time, i most certainly did. i photographed our trip with only my phone, lately i can't be bothered with anything else. 

i have come to love traveling, it somehow calms me. maybe it's that i don't have to be at work for a few days, maybe it's knowing i won't be at my destination for a few hours so there's no need to rush through my day. i can finally start to relax and ease into not having my mind racing through the day. it's a process getting from one place to the next, and i enjoy every minute of it. every trip is different and filled with new sites and experiences. 


my 5th trip to the pnw was this past october. i went for 2 weeks and hung out mostly by myself. i still don't know if i'll ever move up there's a lot of things i love about the south that i'm just not ready to leave. (the heat and the politics can go fuck themselves though.) but it sure is a beautiful part of the country to visit.

1-2. plane right to portland
3-4. boxer ramen - shiitake shoyu
5-6. drive to cannon beach
7-8. cannon beach
9. ecola point
10. drive to portland
11. lardo - pork meatball banh mi 
12. stumptown - vanilla latte
13. burgoo bistro - bacon marmalade biscuits
14-17. vancouver bc aquarium
18. blacklist tattoo
19. stumptown - mocha
20. new tattoo selfie :D


i could never do the oregon coast justice.

i went alone one day during my last visit to the pnw. (which is not my favorite thing to do. i'm happiest when i'm around another person, i have decided.) it started sprinkling while at the beach so i packed up and left in order to make it to ecola state park. i only made it to the first point before turning around. rain + skinny road in the middle of the woods = scared as shit kristin. it was pouring by the time i got back to the little beach town to eat.